Wow! I am quite the night owl. It's approximately 1AM and I am wide awake on the living room couch (while my poor husband fell asleep on the floor while attempting to stay up with me)! I just finished writing a paper for yet another graduate class....yes, it was due tonight. It only took me 2 hours. Not bad for a 1,300 word requirement, huh? My motto: "Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator....you just never seem to go back!" Trust me, I've tried to defeat my procrastinating ways but there is just no hope for me. I try and try, but I put everything off until the last minute especially papers. Maybe I'm just one of those "thrive under-pressure" kind of person. Who knows? Anyway, I just wanted to separate my blog postings with a no photo post....haha please tell me someone else does this?
I've been meaning to write about this for awhile but I keep hesitating because it is a little personal and rather long. I'm not one to divulge my inner thoughts to many people, let alone a public blog. I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want to be when I grow up (granted, I am almost a 23 year old woman). It baffles me sometimes to think that I am almost to the point where I can finally say I am what I always pictured myself being....but then I get stuck because then I realize I'm still growing and still have all these things I want to experience!!!
So, here's the question....when do you officially stop asking yourself "what am I going to be when I grow up?" I had a fellow co-worker ask me that one day, but then he quickly said "oh wait, you already are grown up!" I was a little surprised. When did I ever stop growing up? Seriously! I'm still trying to figure out what I want to..... be/do/make/happen/etc. When did YOU stop asking yourself that question "what am I going to be when I grow up?" The truth, for me at least, is that I always want to be able to answer that question! I always want to be able to give an answer. We are always going to have the opportunity to be whoever/whatever we want to be. The choice is ours. No matter how difficult, stressful, and scary it might be....we all have the ability to change our minds, start over, and/or begin a completely new path.
Here's a real-life example:
at Age 5: "What do you want to be when you grow up, Abby?"
Me: "A doctor, so I can help you mom when you are old and sick"
at Age 10: "What do you want to be when you grow up, Abby?"
Me: "A famous movie star, duh!"
at Age 15: "What do you want to be when you grow up, Abby?"
Me: "A journalist, so I can write whenever I want"
at Age 20: "What do you want to be when you grow up, Abby?"
Me: "Umm. I don't know yet. I'm still in college. I have lots of time to decide"
CURRENTLY at Age 22: "What do you want to be when you grow up, Abby?"
Me: "That's a great question! I want to be lots of things...a good wife, a good teacher, a good sister/sister-in-law, a good listener, a good mother, a good friend, a good daughter/daughter-in law, and just a good person in general"
I know. It's a lot of things to want to be at the mere age of 22, but I seriously want to be ALL of them. I don't care how long it will take me.
That's what I want to be when I grow up.
Enough said.
I always say I work better under pressure, but Steve says, "No, I just WORK under pressure."
ReplyDeleteI'm still trying to answer the question of what I want to be when I grow up. And I'm much older than you! I don't know if we ever really figure it out.
I think you are already a "good wife, a good teacher, a good sister/sister-in-law, a good listener, a good mother, a good friend, a good daughter/daughter-in law, and just a good person in general"
You rock!
You are so cute Abby. I am so glad you are my friend! : )
ReplyDeleteHey Abby...I remember when you said that you wanted to be a teacher...it's that "Anna of Green Gable thing" that Aunt Martha got you glued to the tubes :) How about being a great spy thing...from Alias? We also need a lawyer to fight for those who are unable to :)
ReplyDeleteKidding aside...I'm double your age and I'm still asking myself the same question...
Most of my life, I've strive to do things that I thought made others happy or what others expected of me, especially family because that's what I was taught to do...do this because it's for your brothers, do this because it's for the family, don't do this because your mother will be sad, do this because this is all that we have. I'm sure that others may feel the same way; however, not until I gave birth to my children did I realized that what we do is really OUR choice. Our Heavenly Father gave us free agency. What I've taken from this is that I must do things that makes ME happy. Like you've mentioned before, I too am striving to live my life as worthy to be in God's Graces. So my first step to attaining this goal is to live by setting an example...I fall off the wagon every now and then...but I still climb back on.
Since we learn most lessons from experiences, I know that I just want to be a person with great integrity and a person who loves her children unconditionally.
You CAN be all that you want to be as long as YOU believe in yourself.