best feeling

I got home from church today a little grouchy which is rare because church usually leaves me uplifted and happy. But I just got home and felt defeated (I know, a little dramatic, but I seriously felt like that). The house needed some serious de-cluttering. I was hungry (didn't get a chance to have breakfast). Hudson was tired AND cranky. Logan was bumming around, not being very much help.

I started walking around with a paper towel roll. I told Logan it was my "yelling" stick, so I looked around the room and started saying things into it. My frustrations. What I saw. What I wanted done. What I thought of my baby and husband (some of those things mentioned weren't exactly "nice"). And then, I did it to myself - I said I was grouchy, mean, hungry, crazy, and silly for talking through a paper towel roll. I was going to continue, but then Hudson started smiling and laughing at me, which made Logan do the same.

I started to think - I am grouchy! Why aren't you both grouchy too? Then it dawned on me, I can't make other people feel down just because I am. So, I started to smile too. Because sometimes all you need is to smile and laugh at how crazy and ridiculous you are being. (Note: Logan can attest to how crazy I looked.) It made me feel better to laugh at myself and also to know that my two boys love me even if I act like a crazy, tired, ridiculous wife and mom.

Everything quickly got better from there. Logan got me something to eat and put a movie on for us to watch. About an hour later, it was time for Hudson to take a nap. I went into his room and was about to put him in his crib, but something inside me whispered to hold him for a little while longer. So I did. And then, it happened. He rested his head on my shoulder and fell asleep. That rarely happens. In that special moment, I knew Heavenly Father was so aware of me - He knew I needed that. Instead of laying Hudson down, I went straight to the couch and just snuggled with him. Logan got up, put a blanket over us, and said, "I bet you just love this right now." And, truly, I did. It was the BEST feeling I had had all day.

I know that sometimes our worst days can become our best days, but only if we let it. If we just forget ourselves and learn to laugh more, to listen more, and ultimately to love more. It helped me in this particular situation and I am so grateful for that.